The snare of pornography/2009-2012

As much good as the inter-net has brought it has also brought demonic influences into households. Whereas we were not exposed to pornography the generation of children today have to battle this principality.

When we got our first computer in 2009 Emma begin to battle with this principality. There are so many indecent images on the inter-net, and my child fell into the stronghold of pornography.

I began to notice images on my computer, browser history of pornography sites. As I had no man in my house, I knew it was Emma who had searched these sites. Of men and women engaged in sex.

This continued for months, Brandon set up parental monitors, but to no avail, she seemed to be able to get on the sites anyway. She was secretive about her photo albums, where she was once happy to show me her pictures of actors from Stargate and her science fiction shows she suddenly didn’t want me looking at her pictures anymore. I grew suspicious.

“If you don’t have anything to hide, why can’t I look?”

“It’s none of your business.” she answered. My child used to be open about things.

I cannot explain how devastated I was.

I was surprised because she is a girl, but even girls can become ensnared in this demonic trap.

It grew worse than that she told me she watched homosexual sex. I was overwhelmed with grief, helplessness, rage, and shock. It disturbed me, as I had no proclivity towards pornography, or nudity. But that didn’t make me better it was not the sin that I was drawn to.

“Why Emma?” “Okay, you were curious about how sex is done, but, two men?”

I didn’t understand I felt violated, my home was violated my child was violated. It was a demonic attack, a full assault.

But the Holy Spirit said to me, “Emma was Mine, before she was yours. Before you knew her, I knew her.”

Peace overwhelmed me and encircled me. The peace that surpasses all human understanding, God took the trauma of this away.

Momma and Moe prayed for Emma, and for me.

I was seeing Brouwer at the time, but he said it was perfectly normal. I disagreed in my spirit, as the Holy Spirit disagreed.

An autistic psychologist we went to who tested Emma for Asperger’s said this was normal for young men and women who suffered from bipolar disorder. No, this is not normal. The world tries to normalize sin and aberration. She had horrific mood swings but it didn’t warrant this, this was a particular sin that she gravitated towards because we all have particular sins we gravitate towards.

Her innocence was stolen through the vile content and images on the internet and in the world, the filth of the enemy. The garbage he throws at our children to corrupt and defile them.

Emma had assured me she wasn’t watching pornography anymore, she would even try to erase the browser history, but I found pornographic images in her room that made me want to vomit.

She threw out her photographs. We prayed, and pleaded the Blood of Jesus over her and over our home. She wept, she hugged me. She repented.

I was overwhelmed with peace, fear and devastation left me. I believed she was sincere.

A few months later, Emma came crying to me, she told me that she had not stopped seeing these images, in fact, she began to view violent homosexual sex. I was blown away crippled my soul began to shatter as glass.

She was not even 20.

She said, “That they liked it rough.”

I said, “No one wants to be hurt when they are intimate with someone, this is evil, these poor people are sick if they want to be injured.”

This was a sick and perverted world that had found its way into our home. The demons broke down the doors because there was a weakness somewhere, and they exploited this weakness. It’s what Satan does, it’s what his demons do, force their way, any tear in our armor, and they will rip it even more.

I was crushed under the burden of this sin. It pressed deeply into me, as I felt responsible for not protecting her. It was my fault that demons got through.

She struggled with this sin, I struggled for her in prayer, but God was working. Emma told me that her bible fell on the chapter of Sodom and Gomorrah. The Lord was speaking to her. He heard my prayers, He had never abandoned us.

Emma repented one final time, she threw pictures out again. We prayed on our knees again, and peace surrounded our hearts, I felt secure and assured.

Months later I found pictures in her room. She told me she hadn’t seen anymore pornography, I was hesitant to believe her. Her eyes revealed to me the betrayal she felt that I didn’t believe her.

They were remnants of the battle that had swept through the house in the last two and a half years.

Defend me O’ Lord

as the vultures and ravens descend as the creatures descend and the wings of demons have become inglorious membraned and leathery still claw the blackened skies with deliberation and malice i see Thundering and Lightening bleeding rain

the Judgment God has withheld until man has reaped his harvest, there are the blacked out suns, with sackcloth of hair, and the urine colored moon becoming blood-stained as I stare at evil my corneas burn, racing pulse, I see the demons pull back the earth, ascend from the Great Pit, locust machines, myriads of vengeful angels are still falling from Glory! unable to fly back to God unable to take back the torn feelings, unable to ingest, bruising the Lord, but pounding in the nails harder through his human skin now, they see Him Seated at God’s Right Hand, Eternal, and Unchanging, the demons are the roaches scrambling from the Fist of God I see them screeching bloody murder as their gargoyle bodies, are on a harried mission their time is short and they know their mischief must end, and they will take down as many with them!

(by Matty B. Duran, taken from Everything Gathers at the Feet of Jesus, copyright2017)