Can you exit yourself?

In 2015, my sister Mia left Brandon after nearly 10 years of marriage. I don’t know why she left him, she still won’t tell me. In fact, she won’t talk about it at all. But Brandon has always been a good husband. I can only make guesses as to why she left. They don’t have a child, even though I know they both wanted a child.

I was devastated. I prayed so hard, the news devastated me. Their separation crushed me. She won’t let me tell her, but I want to tell her, she has to go back. I would tell her, she can’t leave a marriage. Can you exit yourself? A marriage is something so much deeper than I ever believed. You are one flesh you are one person, in God’s eyes. A divorce is one of the most painful things I could ever imagine. My parents divorced mutilated me. Their separation is a wound to me, so I cannot even begin to conceive the anguish Brandon is enduring. My parents were divorced, but they didn’t have Jesus to lean on. I don’t know if Mia is really a believer. She was a Christian counselor in high school, and was baptized when she 18. She and Brandon were married by Church, made vows before God; she promised to love him until death parted them. I blame myself. I helped momma to raise her, and I feel utterly helpless and somehow responsible.

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I was never allowed to really be Mia’s mother, so I always had to stand back, momma assumed her role, and a girl always wants her mother, that wasn’t me. I learned from the beginning I wasn’t her real mother, after all I wasn’t the one who carried Mia. But I wasn’t just her big sister, I was her surrogate mother, my life was tied up in hers, we were all a dysfunctional but beautiful family. She was mine from a far. Momma and I were always like Mia’s parents, especially when grandma passed away.