Alley, Zoey and Riley

Riley who we nicknamed "Ranita" or "Little Frog" in Spanish

I don’t look the way I used to. I am not slim anymore my body is rounder around the middle and everywhere, like I’m wrapped with bubble plastic. The body just doesn’t stay the same anymore. When I turned 50 my body changed again. My entire appearance has been changing. There is visible sun damage on my brown face, splotches of brown on each side of my cheeks, like circles on a clown’s face.

My face is wearing away, withering away with time, the bags that embrace the space underneath my eyes, the crow’s feet begin to speak louder of age, and a wisdom I wish I had, but do not.

Still the scars now faded white straight lines across my arms and the circles turned white from cigarette burns lived on my arms in this life. The scars I still have on my thighs thick white slashes, from the time I was seeing Klassen have stayed with me, my feelings for him long since dissipated.

I wear my hair in a single pony tail, I have never been a hair person, some days I wear my make-up, some days I don’t. The hairs on my head are turning white or gray, I don’t dye it all of the time, age is our inheritance in this life, and we all pass through it, whether or not we embrace it.

Despite all of this, I am still happier now than when I was younger, being attractive to men did not give me joy. My joy comes from Jesus.

Emma and I live with our cats Ally and Zoey, they used to be Mia and Brandon’s cats. They have been living with us over 4 years now. When Mia and Brandon moved out of their apartment they came to live with us. Now we cannot imagine our lives without them. Ally is a gray tabby cat and Zoey is a calico, she is light brown, black, white and dark brown. Her face is distinct, half black, and half light brown. They give such comfort to Emma they have been very therapeutic for her she hugs them often.

I love Ally and Zoey too. I don’t mind changing their kitty litter, at first I hated it, scooping the lumps out of the litter box reminds me of when I used to play in the dirt as a child 45 years ago. You take a breath and the world changes, it’s that quick.

Mia found Ally in the zoo when she worked there with Brandon, just a kitten with her mother and kitten siblings roaming. Ally bites when she has had enough of our petting. Her eyes are pale green and Zoey’s eyes are dark green. Zoey still purrs like a kitten, Mia said she was the runt of the litter when she got her as a kitten. I went with her to pick up Zoey from her friend’s house little did I know then, that Zoey was going to be mine. Mia says I really didn’t want to hold her then she put this small kitten in my hands inside a towel. The things we don’t know about life, marry themselves to us, like this small kitten Zoey.

I didn’t think I would still be living here. Emma and I have been living in the same apartment for 10 years, and the same apartment complex for 12. There aren’t many rooms in this apartment, two bedrooms, a hallway, a bathroom, a small kitchen, and a living room. I thank God for this apartment when so many are homeless it is only God that shelters me and Emma. This isn’t the best neighborhood. But nothing tangible can keep you safe if something wants to destroy you. The Lord is our only protection between the large glass window and what is outside.

_________________________________________

We found Riley in the park. Mia and Eric would walk with Aneska in the evenings, and they told me about Riley, the little calico cat the same color as Zoey. She was abandoned in the park. Eric told me she would sleep in a burlap sack that was slunk over a PG and E meter that was on the sidewalk.

Unlike Zoey, Riley had a black chin. The first time I saw Riley my heart broke for this little kitten. Once I told Emma that there was a kitten in the park we drove over there to lure her with a can of wet food. We looked all over the park for Riley until we found her. When she was inside of our van she tried to jump outside through a closed window in the back seat. But we knew she would be safe in our care.

I often wonder how many times I tried to jump out of my Lord’s hands like the little kitten Riley.

Emma needed to rescue her, she chose to adopt her. God chose to adopt me too.

I begin to think how God looked for me, He left no stone unturned. From the time I was a conceived in my mother’s womb, He knew me, and He would find me because He loved me.

Everything God has done for me has proven His love for me, and for all of mankind.