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Daddy Joined the Air Force

  • Writer: Matty B. Duran
    Matty B. Duran
  • Dec 5, 2017
  • 6 min read

Updated: Mar 8


In 1977 daddy joined the Air Force and trained at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas. He was already 33 years old this was the last year he could join the service. Daddy thought the Air Force would train him to be a graphic artist. I remember I missed him, intensely and I don’t know why. There was peace with daddy gone. Momma used to sing to us, “He’ll be back again someday” like the Frosty the Snow man cartoon.

Every morning I was irritated and was mean to momma. . Daddy wrote to us often, but momma didn’t write to him. I think that is why I was really angry she didn’t even make an effort.

Daddy wrote that his song for momma and us was Barry Manilow’s “Weekend in New England”. Since I told her, every time she heard that song I could see the tears in her eyes.

It must have been so hard for her to raise five children on her own, aged 6-13 years old. But you don’t think of that when you are 12 years old. I was self-centered.

Daddy was eventually discharged because he didn’t get the M/O (military occupation) he wanted. He had wanted to be a graphic designer.

Missy used to sleep in the same bed with me, she was 6 years old. She wouldn’t go to bed without me. Momma used to let me stay up to watch movies, The Sound of Music (came on once a year on NBC), My Fair Lady which only came on once, and Jesus of Nazareth the mini-series.

Missy used to say, “You going to bed.”

“No.” I answered annoyed.

“Then I stay with you.” She would then curl up on the sofa beside me. Momma used to let her, Missy had powerful lungs, she would bawl loudly. Daddy used to say, “Give her whatever she wants.” He didn’t want to hear her crying, he was usually drinking a beer and watching T.V.


Missy used to wail when she had to do her homework, so daddy used to say, “Bertha, leave her alone.” The rest of us had to do our homework on the curved counter sitting on a bar stool. The curved counter with the bar stools looked out to the living room and the entrance hallway.

There were two television sets in the house, momma and daddy had one in their bedroom, and the larger television was in the living room. The whole house had hard wood flooring, except for momma and daddy’s bedroom it was carpeted. Daddy had carpeted it. There were three bedrooms in the house. There were two bathrooms, one in momma and daddy’s room, and one for the rest of us. The boys had their room, and I shared a room with my two little sisters. There was a hallway with hard wood flooring that led to our bedrooms.

Daddy took out another mortgage on the house to add a family room and an extra bedroom with a stairway. Momma didn’t want to take out another mortgage on the house, there probably was a big argument about that, but there were too many to count.

There were a lot of two by fours and sheet rock in the backyard he was going to build a family room where the patio was. There was a sliding door in the living room that led to the patio, the sliding door that had trapped so many fingers, once Boi’s finger nail jumped off when he slammed the door on it. He was about 5 momma said. Momma said Boi ran around the house screaming in pain, blood pouring from where his finger nail had been.


Daddy enlisted all of us to help him. It didn’t go well, momma, Boi, me and Jimmy. “Hold the sheet rock this way.” I can’t recall how many times daddy smashed his thumb with the hammer.

To make money daddy used to roof other people’s houses, including his own parents. Daddy used to take us, momma, Boi and me to work. When we were in school, momma would roof with daddy on weekends it was usually Boi or me. Working for daddy was like working for a very abusive boss. Daddy used to scream whenever I didn’t hold the shingles right. He didn’t realize Boi and I were still children.

The tragic part about working freelance, clients didn’t always pay him. Daddy had a terrible time collecting the money. I didn’t think people could take advantage like that.

Daddy and momma also installed glass. Once or twice momma and daddy broke the glass they were supposed to install. If it wasn’t tragic it would have been funny. They had to pay for the glass they broke.

That’s why momma used to say, “Your daddy never had a steady job.”

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When I was 12, I had a crush on Peter O’Toole. I saw him in the film Lawrence of Arabia, and cut his picture out of the T.V. guide, and put it in my wallet. I used to stare at his beautiful face on the paper photo when I was in school.

I started to play the violin that year. The school loaned me the violin. But I enjoyed playing it, the sounds that came out of it amazed me the sounds that came out of Nadine’s violin the girl who helped me. Mine just screeched when I would drag the bow across the strings. Boi still played the trumpet. He had been playing since the 4th grade. To this day he still plays trumpet.

I started my period this year. I was in gym and I found a stain of pink on my underwear. I knew I had started my period I didn’t have a pad, so I put some toilet paper inside my panties. I had slight pain on the lower part of my stomach.


Junior High was hard, having a combination lock, and a locker that wouldn’t open. Juggling seven classes, I should have felt happy, but I wasn’t. This was the time when I began to feel as if I didn’t really exist. I began to disassociate from my surroundings.

By the time I was in the 7th grade my friendships were complicated. Deanna Martin was my best friend and I used to let her push me in the bushes at school. I wanted her to like me. She was a lot taller than me. I let myself be bullied, the way I had bullied Cathy Garcia the year before in the 6th grade, because she was very short and a little chubby. She wanted to be my partner for something, and I said I would be her partner then deliberately partnered with Maria. Cathy said, “I thought we were partners.” But I just ignored her. For so many years it was hard for me to forgive myself for the way I used to treat her.

Patricia Sanchez was the most popular girl when we were in elementary school. Tall, pretty and smart. Everyone, that is all the girls in our classroom used to buzz around her as if she was a celebrity. At lunch, all the girls would take turns to sit next to her. I guess I was jealous of her, I had always been jealous of her. By the time we got to junior high, I really didn't like Patricia anymore.


One afternoon at lunch when we were hanging out in the corridors, she began to tease me. Since she was taller than me, she pretended to corner me against the wall of the cafeteria. I know she didn't mean it, but I just wanted her to stop bothering me. I think I told her to stop, when she didn’t, I surprised her and grabbed her by the leg, this unbalanced her and she came down hard on her wrist and sprained it. She never told on me.

Momma and daddy used to play the game Risk with us every once and awhile. Momma always picked The United States, I was content to be South America, Daddy tried to conquer all of Asia, Boi tried to take Europe, and Jimmy was Africa. The girls were too young to play and usually played paper dolls together, sometimes Moe played with momma and Missy played with daddy.

Daddy’s armies were red. Momma always went after those red men. She would say, “Two red ones!” every time she would roll the dice. Daddy would lose every time momma shouted, “Two red ones!” like it was a prophecy or something. Sometimes when daddy couldn’t stand to lose he would knock over the board, and all the pieces would go flying through the air. This scared the girls, I knew the game was over and momma said it was time to go to bed.

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